Monday, March 1, 2010

this is so perfect

I'm really genuinely surprised by the number of people that disagree with me when I say that Johnny Weir's treatment at the Olympics was homophobic. Here are all my feelings:

Saturday, January 30, 2010

vintage gaga

This is pure vintage Gaga in the same vein as that awesome mint condition white dress from the 60's. I once found a mint condition wallet from the 40's for like 20 bucks, but that's neither here nor there.

You can see how the Bad Romance video grew out of the person that made this with her friends with almost no budget.




There is something about Gaga that just fascinates me. I think it's because I've never recognized any new musician as an actual artist before her. She is an artist. The rest are just people who sing. She actually reminds me a lot of Oscar Wilde, and that's a high compliment coming from me.

If I had skillz in Photoshop I would put Gaga sunglasses on a picture of Wilde. But sadly I don't have those skillz. Also, I'm just relishing my use of z in place of s. I feel so bad.

Friday, January 29, 2010

a really good quote

I never really liked Catcher in the Rye much, but this is a really good quote:

“Among other things, you’ll find that you’re not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behaviour. You’re by no means alone on that score, you’ll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You’ll learn from them—if you want to. Just as some day, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It’s a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn’t education. It’s history. It’s poetry.”

-J.D. Salinger

I'm not going to break a promise to you by saying that I'll post more, but hey, the challenge of not saying it may motivate me. And I'm done with grad school apps (destroyer of worlds) for the time being so I may have actual time to blog.

For now, I'll just enjoy my desk, Elektra, and a Jamba Juice.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

NYT: Give the Phillies the Respect They Deserve

That's fucking right, New York Times.

October 21, 2009
Sports of The Times
Give the Phillies the Respect They Deserve
By WILLIAM C. RHODEN

Philadelphia

For the last nine days my in-box has been flooded by angry e-mail messages, mostly from fans of the Philadelphia Phillies who objected to my contention that a Dodgers-Yankees World Series is what baseball needs, and what network executives privately want.

A couple of them even informed me that a host on WIP Radio in Philadelphia gave me the honor of being his weasel of the week.

The arguments were familiar: the Dodgers are soft, aloof and Hollywood. The Yankees are arrogant, spoiled and overpaid. The Phillies, on the other hand, work hard, play harder, play fair and care more about the game.

The no-respect theme is a familiar lament in Philadelphia, and in the case of the Phillies this season, the lament is justified.

Despite being the defending World Series champions, the Phillies are treated like stepchildren by the networks, sometimes relegated to afternoon or late-night games, while the Yankees-Red Sox-Dodgers triumvirate receive top billing.

The Dodgers part of the equation is becoming moot; Jimmy Rollins has seen to that. On Monday, in the bottom of the ninth of Game 4, Rollins, the Phillies’ shortstop, doubled in the tying and winning runs as Philadelphia pushed the Dodgers to the brink of elimination with a 5-4 victory.

So much for Yankees-Dodgers nostalgia.

The great thing about these playoffs is that coaches’ polls and computer rankings don’t factor in. It doesn’t matter what you or I want, or what network executives want.

The only thing that matters is what unfolded at 11:52 Monday night when Rollins succeeded and Dodgers closer Jonathan Broxton failed.

Despite the snubs, Philadelphia plays on, forcing television networks to take note.

Ryan Howard, the Phillies’ slugger, sat in the middle of the clubhouse early Tuesday talking about his team, the national news media and the notion that the Phillies are not being respected.

“There’s only one thing you can do, and that’s go out there and win,” Howard said. “Whether they want to respect it or not, doesn’t matter. We’ve got the trophy; you’ve got to respect the trophy.”

Howard has heard the Dodgers-Yankees talk. Last year he heard the same talk about the desirability of a Red Sox-Dodgers Series. Instead, Philadelphia played Tampa Bay.

“I don’t think it was the matchup that people really expected or wanted to see,” he said. “It doesn’t matter what you want. Who’s ever there at the end is there at the end, whether it’s Yankees and Phillies, Dodgers-Yankees, Phillies-Angels. You’ve got to respect whoever’s there and whoever wins.”

Can the Dodgers force this series back to Los Angeles? Of course they can. Will they? Probably not.

With an opening win in Game 1, an 11-0 rout in Game 3 and a spirit-breaking victory in Game 4, the Phillies have effectively set up shop inside the Dodgers’ heads.

Rollins made the point throughout the season and he made it again Monday night: the greatest difference between last year’s run and this year’s is that this season’s opponents expect Philadelphia to win as much as the Phillies themselves expect to win.

Howard agrees: “I think that teams realize we’re a team that keeps coming from behind; that’s going to stick in your mind, especially if it’s happened a couple times. They start thinking: We’ve been here before, now what’s going to happen? Are they going to come back? Are we going to be able to hold on?

“Then things start getting shaky.”

In addition to the objections over my call for a Yankees-Dodgers World Series, I heard from many fans who pointed out that such a Series would feature two high-profile players who had tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs: the Dodgers’ Manny Ramirez and the Yankees’ Alex Rodriguez. In February, SI.com reported that Rodriguez was among the 100 or so players who failed a test for performance-enhancing drugs in the 2003 survey testing of all major leaguers. In May, Ramirez was suspended for 50 games after it was reported that he had tested positive for a banned substance.

If we’ve learned anything about this issue, it’s that there are two major groups of players: those who have been caught and those who have not. Some have been forced to come clean; others are shivering in their shoes, hoping that the complete list of those who tested positive in 2003 is never made public.

So before Phillies fans, or any others, throw stones, they need a reality check. In January, Phillies reliever J.C. Romero was suspended for the first 50 games of the 2009 season for using performance-enhancing substances. This positive test came about two months before he won two games in the World Series last fall to help the Phillies win the championship. The suspension came afterward.

This year the Phillies again are a great team, and they may be in the process of building a dynasty. So they deserve our respect, but spare us the lectures.

Monday, October 19, 2009

i've been bad again

I know.  Sometimes I just get into a routine where I don't blog, but I'm on the mend.  I'm blogging right now, aren't I?

The kittens are still lovey.  Basket is purring on my chest as I'm typing this.  Trollop is still giving kitten hickeys.  That's going to to be awkward/cuter when he's older.  They now meow to be picked up.  I've never seen a cat do this.  Most cats I've encountered won't even let you pick them up.  They're so good.  I love them.

The "at least you're not this guy from okcupid" guy messaged me today to ask why he didn't have a girlfriend.  Yeah.

We all seem to be in our own little fish bowl.  We don't know how our actions affect the people around us.  Some of us are better than others, but we're all largely pretty clueless.  (SIDENOTE: I don't understand fish as pets.)  There are even guys on okcupid who tell women they're naturally inferior to men and then don't understand why said women aren't standing in line to date them.  Like we're all in some mystery novel looking for clues to understand the conundrum.

But in every relationship we all have moments where we ask, "What am I doing wrong?" Like, "What am I doing that is making her/him so mad?" I've always thought that you can't really be mad at people for things they don't do on purpose, but I've come to amend that.  You can blame people for not making the slightest effort to not be a douchebag.  But what if we're the douchebags? And there are people out there thinking that about us? I guess everyone is someone else's douchebag.  I don't like to think about how many ex's I have floating around out there that have every reason to hate me.  I don't even like the word douchebag.  It's kind of gross.

Trollop is suckling on me now.  He's so content.

I wish all love could be pure like love for kittens.



Tuesday, September 22, 2009

BRIEF ENCOUNTER Friday!

Who's coming on Friday for an extra awesome night of fab theater, then discounted drinks and a jam with the musicians from BRIEF ENCOUNTER? Comment if you're coming. Plus, half price tickets because you know a very important dramaturgy intern!

paul on gossip girl

Paul
When are you going to post the Jennifer's Body writeup??
1:06amEllen
oh god, yeah
tomorrow?
1:07amPaul
yay!
1:07amEllen
i'm waiting for gossip girl to load! yay gossip girl!
1:07amPaul
oh, speaking of blog projects, the domain for bayareacoffeesnobs.com has been installed on my site -- going to put wordpress on it tonight.
I've actually never seen an episode of gossip girl
1:07amEllen
yessssssssss
it's so addictive
1:08amPaul
what's it actually about
?
1:08amEllen
pretentious sexually active rich kids on the upper east side
1:08amPaul
hahah omg so it's like melrose place but nerdier
1:08amEllen
it's the best
and my favorite couple is finally together
so i'm lovin it
1:09amPaul
perhaps I'll watch some. when you say "loading," does that mean it's on the internet?
1:09amEllen
yeah
surfthechannel
you have to start at the beginning though
1:10amPaul
ok, I'll watch the pilot. what the hell. still not finished packing yet, but I have four hours...
1:11amEllen
yesssss
1:11amPaul
and I have a milan hotel now -- one of the people I e-mailed days ago finally got back to me
1:11amEllen
tell me who you favor: blair or serena?
watch it on megavideo
started! have fun!
1:12amPaul
haha ok I'll let you know whose side I'm on :-):-)
2:00amEllen
serena or blair?
2:04amPaul
serena but see e-mail
2:04amEllen
i saw
amazing
2:05amPaul
I didn't really find anything gripping enough to make me want to keep watching
just "oh, ok, so one pretty rich boy wants to kiss other girls, and blair isn't sure how she feels about it, and serena was arrested for fucking everyone in thailand or something and now she's being chased by paparazi and everyone has lots of money and who cares?
2:06amEllen
hahahaha
i love it
2:06amPaul
and then there's this other pretty rich boy who picks up women in bars, and maybe he's the same pretty rich boy who is dating blair, but maybe he isn't -- I can't really tell and don't really care
2:06amEllen
hahahaah
2:06amPaul
but he's sufficiently notorious that strange blondes in bars know who he is and woo-woo for him
2:07amEllen
chuck bass
2:07amPaul
and for some reason people listen to some damned radio show or podcast or something about these people
is he the same one who is dating blair or not?
2:07amEllen
HAHAHAHAAHA
no
nate's dating blair
2:07amPaul
oh, ok. I don't think I caught nate's name
2:07amEllen
some damned radio show
ok i have to go to bed, but that's awesome
2:07amPaul
this conversation may be bloggable
goodnight!
2:08amEllen
goodnight!



Important Note From Ellen:
CHUCK & BLAIR 4 EVAAAAA!!!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

you're moderately attractive

wat do you think of my pics
?

umm... you're moderately attractive?

thanks!
i am looking for friends and fun too..nothing serious

i don't put much stock in these things

yea...i am here for fun as well..

i mean in appearances
i care more about other things

true
hmm..like what?

kindness, intelligence
sense of humor
creativity

i am the man!

you are a man

lol
yes i m


Since when is "you're moderately attractive" a compliment? That's not me complimenting your appearance.  It's me trying to get out of the question because you're just kind of eh appearance-wise.  If you're not ugly then I just say you're moderately attractive to not be a bitch.  Why do people ask me what I think of their "pics" anyway? What am I supposed to say to that? "Ur realy hawt"?  Come on!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

vlogs #9 & 10: for taylor swift

So I have a lot of feelings about Kanye and Taylor Swift.  I recently posted some feelings about Taylor Swift here, but that's not really all there is to it.  When I found out that Kanye came up onstage and interrupted Taylor's speech at the VMAs I started calling people to tell them.  I was incensed.   Katy Perry already said what he did was "like stepping on a kitten."  Don't drink kids.  

I just watched the You Belong with Me video again so I could reference it accurateley, and I was inspired. You know how people do 2 Girls 1 Cup reaction videos? Well, I'm not doing that, but I did do a Taylor Swift reaction video. The great thing about that video is that it affects people, and it really does affect me. I would recommend starting my reaction video and then a muted version of the original video so you can see what I'm commenting on, making the video a lot more fun and less self-indulgent.

Here is my video, to be played with sound, and then Taylor's video to be played on mute when you see I'm starting mine, if you hear the truck sound you've waited too long:






Then I watched my video and realized that the sign was backwards, which I personally believe makes this whole endeavor even cuter.  So I made this clarification video with two very special guest stars:





I found this on facebook, and I think it adequately describes my feelings about Kanye West:

RT Kanye @ PatSwayze funeral: "i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute, but MJ had the best death of the year. just sayinnn"

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

a social experiment

So in honor of Monday night, I changed my okcupid status back to bisexual to see how long it would take guys to start IMing me.  It took 4 minutes.  I had 4 guys message me in the first 10 minutes.  Insanity.  Here is a very special edition of "at least you're not this guy from okcupid" featuring 3 new friends!
THE KILLER OPENING LINE AWARD:
ur hella cute

thanks
you're moderately attractive

THE YOU SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO SAY THAT TO STRANGERS OR "ur hair are lovely" AWARD:

u alright?
hi

i am indeed alright
good
wat u upto ?

damn that kanye west

lol

how do you get your hair to stay like that?

y ? wats wrong in it ?

nothing

i was just wondering, i can't get my hair to do anything

lol
ur hair are lovely
thank you
is that why you messaged me?

lol
im so tired today , i have got backpain as well

that's tough

plz do something to it

your back?

yeah

umm...
backcarck
backcrack

kinda far away

i wish if u were here now

but i'm just a name on a screen
i know
just asked away
do u know a massage by using ur feet ?

no i don't
  
its easy , u just have to step on me and walk all over barefeet , its a good massage

ok....

would u like to do that to me ?

no
not at all

y ?
r u scared ?

no
it's just kind of gross to ask someone to walk on you on okcupid

lol
lmao

u r funny

not really

u r
bbut u r too beautiful

just kinda telling it like it is
what does that have to do with anything?

AND FINALLY... THE I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE AWARD:

whatsup

nm jc

what did you get into tonight

i took the train back from sf home

what were you doing here in the city

i was working
at my job

what do you do

i'm a dramatugy intern at a big theater company

what do you do

i research theater and work with actors and directors
 what do you do?

im a stocker scrapper
an apprentice in the drywall union

there's a drywall union?

 of course

i've never really understood drywall

what do you mean
all buildings need walls

no, i understand that there is a thing called drywall
just how it's made and the intricacies behidn it
what do you do?

i keep the workers stocked with metal studs and sheetrock
move material
insulate
caulk
help with layouts
a lot of things
whatever they ask but mostly stock
and scrap out the garbage

is it rewarding work?

ya definately i got a career for the rest of my life ill move up and be doing the real work eventually
its the hardest job i ever done though
move tons of weight everyday
literally
gets you in shape
some days are so easy that you cant believe your getting paid so much too

definitely

one day i just stood behind a crane to make sure no one walked passed the tape
it was borng as hell i would have rather worked but i got 100 dollars for just standing there
i like it its a good job i dont have to go to college
you like your job?

very much

so this is a career for you too right
your working up?

YEAH [NOTE: That’s ALLCAPS was accidental.  I wasn’t being that much of an asshole]
definitely

ya me too

did you go to school before

i went to stanford
it says on my profile

you planning to move to the cityy?

no, i commute

thats a long commute isnt it
like 2 hours right

no, only an hour

i used to work in hayward it would take me 2 hours
 from when i left my house
it was horrible

that sucks

brb

ok
That was the fun night I had. Oh, people. I hope I made alphafemme's morning!

Monday, September 14, 2009

at least you're not this other guy from okcupid

hi

hey

how r u?

i'm good\
why are you messaging me?

to chat only
have a little discussion

how'd you find me though?

i search through matches and i found u online

but it says i'm a lesbian

ok
i want to chat only

about what?

i not searching for girlfriend
about any thing intersting
to know new people and know more about thier country, culture and others

cgddgdgjygdfgcvv

what does this mean?

my kitten just messaged you

lol
ok
hehehhe

you're in saudi arabia?

yes
do u know it?

i've never been there
but i know of it, obviously

from where?

studying and the news

i hope not from media
ohhh my god

that tends to be where the news comes from

yes
but the media not always right

what do they get wrong?

they r telling laies about saudi arabia

what is the truth?

the truth that we r normal people and
we care about our families,friends and other people
we r not Terrorist

of course, not all of you are Terrorists

we love the life and enjoy but with restrications

what kind of restrictions?

good that u know that

[NOTE: STOP TELLING LAIES!]

Saturday, September 12, 2009

i missed you, project runway

So I just watched three episodes of Project Runway in a row.  The really disturbing thing is that I haven't been watching regularly enough that I would have three episodes to watch. 

Project Runway carries with it a certain degree of awesome.  It's always going to be fun, but some seasons are better than others.  Personally, my favorites were season three (Jeffrey Sebelia) and four (Christian Siriano).  I've picked the winner every season I've watched, and really love getting pissed off at the judges.  I still haven't forgiven them for auf'ing season three's Allison:

And she was so sweet too!

My early favorites are Ra'mon and Shirin.  The show feels a little different now that it's moved to Lifetime, but I'm just glad it's back.  This season hasn't really yielded too much wow, but I was hooked enough to watch three episodes in a row.  
 
Maybe this can be part of Paul learning fashion? A Project Runway tutorial?
Also, Chinese baby sting was a go and the recording is amazings.  That's right, amazings.  Plural.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

chinese babies

So I'm writing this piece on gay Chinese adoption for Words on Plays (a publication sold at performances that goes into the intricacies of the work) and the dramaturgy packet for the cast.  And I called an adoption agency, and said, "Hi, I'd like to adopt a Chinese baby.  I'm a homosexual.  Is that a problem?" And they were like, "Yes!" The issue is that there's a lesbian adoption in David Mamet's November that goes along way too swimmingly.  So I told the head of publications what I did and he got really excited, and said that I should call a different agency tomorrow and record it! And then transcribe it for the publication! Then he said, "You're a thinker.  I like you."

WIN
Also, Heard 'Round the ACT:

"I smell, like, vodka..."
me: "Haha!"
"Do you have it?"
me: "No!"
"Crap!"